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Deep Inner Decisions that Allow Survivors to Heal
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Deep Inner Decisions that Allow Survivors to Heal



Deep Inner Decisions that Allow Survivors to Heal

by Ellen P. Lacter, Ph.D., 2005

CHOICES OF STRENGTH AND HEALING***************************POSITIONS OF DEFEAT

To choose life.**********************************************************To consider death as an option.

To have deep inner reasons to live.***********************************To simply exist or look to others for reasons to live.

To find safety if suicidal feelings are not controllable.**************To look to others to magically stop suicidal feelings.

To hunger for truth, despite the pain, for freedom.******************To run from truth and hope for healing without pain.

To take charge of ones memory work.******************************To delegate memory work to therapists or others.

To be a loving parent to one's child parts.***************************To seek an external caregiver for ones child parts.

To be determined to love oneself.************************************To give into feelings of unworthiness or defilement.

To defeat fear (except truly self-protective fear).********************To allow life choices to be fear-driven.

To defeat anger (except truly self-protective anger).****************To displace anger onto others or let inner parts do so.

To choose sex only in true, healthy relationships.******************To allow parts to sexually act out or be victimized.

To discover and process the trauma that causes parts to want to act out destructively or self-destructively.***************To allow parts to be destructive or self-destructive.

To be a thriver, to have an internal locus of control.****************To be a victim, to have an external locus of control.

To be the leader of ones healing team.******************************To want, expect, or demand that others lead.

To connect with others, to have close relationships.***************To isolate.

To be kind and considerate of helpers and loved ones.************To relate to others as if they are not doing enough.

To be financially self-sufficient, or work toward this.***************To expect others to take responsibility for ones life.

To lead. To have a mission to help others.**************************To be childlike, to look for others to be caretakers.

Integration (or preserving a few co-conscious parts).***************To let dissociated parts take executive control.

To be spiritually centered.*********************************************To have a weak spiritual foundation.